Dirty Minds
by Doctor Strangelove
Summary: While Matt, Ted, and Bennet have breakfast, Ted entertains Matt with some rather indecent thoughts. Slash [MattTed]


"We'll be in New York in a day or so. At which point we're going to have to keep our wits about us to take out the tracking…"

Matt had learned to tune out Bennet when he went on these rants about the Company he had worked for. He was much more content to focus his energies on better tasks, such as halfheartedly perusing the menu at the local diner that Bennet had chosen for them to eat breakfast. While trying to discern what the difference between a fiesta omelet and it's regular counterpart was, Matt was suddenly jerked out of his morningtime dilemma.

Matt could've sworn he just heard Ted speak up, and what he said was hardly appropriate morning conversation, especially with Bennet sitting right next to him. But Bennet was still rambling on about a tracking system, so Matt must've been mistaken. He shook it off and turned his attentions back to the menu.

The sound of Matt choking on his coffee had stopped Bennet's diatribe, and he was now giving Matt a very peculiar look. Matt was certain he had heard Ted say something that time, something _much_ more inappropriate than the previous statement. He gave Bennet an embarrassed grin and turned his attention to Ted, who was nonchalantly sipping his iced tea and gazing out the window with his traditional morning scowl on his face. He certainly hadn't said anything, so either Matt was going crazy or…

No. He wouldn't. Ted couldn't be thinking indecent thoughts about Matt with Bennet sitting right next to him, could he?

"Well that answers that." Matt mumbled under his breath as another of Ted's thoughts flowed through his.

"Excuse me, Parkman?" Bennet raised a wary eyebrow at Matt's unusual behavior.

"Um, nothing. Keep talking about the tracking system."

_I was wondering which one of them would go crazy first, _Bennet thought as he continued his rant. Just as this thought passed through Matt's head, it was quickly followed by a sentence that definitely didn't come from Bennet. Matt attempted to give Ted his best covert angry glare, but the radioactive man was still staring out the window, the frown on his face not at all indicative of what he was thinking.

Matt tried not to give any visible reaction as he was bombarded with more of Ted's sexual fantasies. The two of them had gotten very close during this road trip of theirs. Often, and repeatedly, and especially in the shower. But Matt had been taking every measure he could to keep this information from Bennet, and he didn't think the fact that his face was quickly turning bright red was going to help.

He tried to focus on something else as more and more smutty ideas flowed into his brain. Singing songs, reciting capitals, doing math problems, none of them were able to drown out Ted's detailing of all the X-rated things he wanted to do to Matt. He supposed he could've just used his energy to turn off the telepathy altogether, but Matt had to admit that he was enjoying a great deal of what Ted was thinking.

Matt had to hand to his bearded companion; the man certainly had a creative mind. Under other circumstances, he would've really enjoyed hearing all of Ted's fantasies, but this hardly seemed like the right time. A deep uncomfortable feeling swept over Matt as he realized that his lower half took no account of where he was or whom he was with, and instead was reacting as one would expect given what Ted was thinking.

The annoyed sound of a throat clearing snapped Matt back to his senses as he realized that the waitress was standing next to him expectantly. "Oh. Okay. I want," _Don't say Ted. Don't say Ted._ "Eggs." Matt stammered and handed over his menu. Ted's dirty little game was beginning to take a toll mentally and physically on Matt as he was finding it very hard to focus on anything else.

Okay, that was just grunting. Sweat began to seep from Matt's brow as his jeans grew much tighter. He was vaguely aware that Bennet had just asked him a question, but forming a coherent sentence, let alone answering Bennet, seemed far beyond Matt at the moment.

"Not in my mouth." Matt suddenly objected, at what he feared was far too loud of a volume. This little outburst succeeded in catching both Bennet and Ted's attention, as the former had stopped talking and the latter finally looked away from the ever-engaging window with a smirk on his face.

After a brief and awkward silence enveloped the table, Bennet finally asked, "_What_?"

Figuring that saying something, anything, was better than remaining quiet, Matt managed to mumble out, "I don't want anything that's not those eggs I ordered in my mouth." The bewildered look did not leave Bennet's face so Matt opted for Plan B. "I have to go the bathroom," he sputtered out and hastily left the table, attempting to cover his frontside as he left.

Ted and Bennet sat in a stunned silence before Ted spoke with a grin, "You owe me breakfast."

"I cannot believe it was that easy." Bennet shook his head. "I figured Parkman could've kept his cool better than that."

"Told you so," Ted laughed as he got up from the table.

"Where are you going?"

"Well I'm not going to get him all worked up like that and just leave him hanging. That's rude."


End file.
